I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize