dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
