so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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