I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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