my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
