She said her name was "party"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
