So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize