The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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