i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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