its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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