walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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