We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize