Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize