You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
