I wish I could punch you in the face.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize