I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
