Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
