If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
