Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
