I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
