K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
