Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
