she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just cropdusted the office
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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