In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
