You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
