I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
