nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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