Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have post one night stand depression
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
