I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
