I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize