I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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