I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize