Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
