Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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