you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
