currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize