Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
