As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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