well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
