We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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