I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
