FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
