you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
