ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
