Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
