all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
