So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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