i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
