i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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