I wish I could punch you in the face.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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