Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
