Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
