I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
