so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
