He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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