His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
