that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
