Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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