you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
