Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
