matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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