Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize