Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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