There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
