just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize