Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it glows. i had to have it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
