We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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