; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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