Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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