I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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