I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
