hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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