I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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